My Neurodivergency: Anxiety and ADHD
I've known that I have anxiety disorder and ADHD for way more than a year now. It took friends that struggle with them as well suggesting it to me and a lot suddenly clicked into place.
Of course it's always been a feeling only. A hunch.
Welp, two months ago, following a day-long anxiety attack, I finally called a psychiatrist. And yesterday he told me that I he thinks I have anxiety disorder as well as ADHD – probably either in an 'okay' capacity, but together they have the capacity to tear me down.
There are mostly two ways I am affected negatively: Anxiety attacks, either random oder following a sort of “spook”. That could be a danger moment or a social situation that could – even just theoretically – lead to permanent status loss with someone who has power over me (like a boss at work, for example).
And the other is that I get sick. Regularly. On the weekend.
During the week, on workdays, I keep it together enough that I usually just feel exhausted by the end, but it's nothing compared to the weekend.
Usually a headache, hypersenstivity (especially to light) and dizziness to sick to my stomach. This leads to me needing to rest, so I do. And after 1-2 days I'm completly fine again. Oof.
Most of the times I'm good by sunday or monday morning, but when I'm not calling in sick to work is always challange.
So I am happy to say that today I told my team leader that I've been diagnosed. He was very understanding and just kept repeating that I should say something if they can do anything to make it easier on me.
That's really nice. I don't know what they could do, but it's a good sentiment. Mostly I wanted to create understanding for my relatively common – compared to my coworkers – sickdays.
I feel good to a) have confirmation that I am not just fragile, but it's very likely to be these common mental disorders. And b) that this allows me to share this confirmation.
Of course both disorders affect me in smaller, less dramatic ways, and I will always have to learn how to deal better with them. It's just great the big things are starting to get tackled now.
My psychiatrist prescribed me meds for the anxiety only for now and I'm optimistic. It neat.